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 ISSUE 83 * JUNE 24, 2004

 

FORWARD TO A FRIEND! 

 

Patently Absurd

MICROSOFT WAS AWARDED A U.S. PATENT Tuesday for a "Method and apparatus for transmitting power and data using the human body." That's right. If you want to use human skin as a data bus or muscle tissue as a conduit for electricity, you may need to pay Microsoft a licensing fee.

It may sound farfetched, but it's a near certainty that eventually all kinds of gadgets -- wristwatches, glasses, hats, etc. -- will communicate with
each other via electrical impulses sent through the body. You'll even be able to exchange contact information with someone by shaking their hand. Microsoft will get a penny every time that happens.

This wacky sounding patent comes on the heels of recent reports that the company had received patents for the ideas of double-clicking on a PDA, and a method for programmers to keep a running "to do" list in code comments. Very recently, Microsoft has been granted patents for a "Hand-held personal computer," a "multilingual user interface for an operating system," "thread-based e-mail" and even "one-pass greedy-pattern-matching finite-state-machine code generation."

I don't know what that last one is but it sounds difficult and painful.

The U.S. Patent Office even accidentally granted Microsoft a patent for a new variety of Apple tree -- the Burchinal Red Delicious -- earlier this year.

Microsoft has been granted more than 3,200 patents since the company's founding. Sound like a lot? You may be surprised to hear that Microsoft isn't even among the top ten tech companies in the number of patents granted. IBM was granted more than 3,400 patents last year alone.

Though some of Microsoft's patents sound absurd, I don't blame the company. If something is patentable, someone will patent it. Because of current patent laws and process, there's
no downside to patenting everything in sight. And the patent office grants about 95 percent of the original ideas submitted for review.

Meanwhile, it may take the patent office as many as five years to process the 500,000 patent applications currently awaiting review.

An even bigger problem is the existence of "patent trolls" -- weasels who don't invent anything but instead look for existing unpatented technologies they can patent in order to make money off of the inventor.

Fortunately, help is on the way. In recent years, technology executives have been stepping up their lobbying efforts, and patent reform is one of their top priorities -- Microsoft is a major leader in the effort to fix our patent system. But knowing that a patent crackdown is on the way, companies like Microsoft have an additional incentive to get patents granted now while the gettin' is easy.

A "one-pass greedy-pattern-matching finite-state-machine code generation"? Why didn't I think of that?
 

 

 

 

Bad Robots

Israel may create a "remote control border" with the Gaza Strip after a planned withdrawal. The plan involves robotic cars and towers that automatically kill border crossers. The "computerized observation system" would automatically choose from a variety of weapons and be able to shoot "deep into Gaza," according to a report. I wonder what the border guard union has to say about this.


Don't Try This At Home

If you're hungry and your stove isn't working, don't despair. This resourceful chap shows you how to fry an egg on your PC's CPU.

A web site is planning to chronicle the construction of a remote control car. No, not a remote control toy car. A real car. Israel may be interested in this project.

 

A mod enthusiast has created a PC case shaped and painted like an anime character. He really needs to get out more.


Win a Gmail Account!

Gmail is Google's new e-mail service that allows up to one gigabyte of storage. Right now the service is in "beta" and e-mail addresses are invitation only by current beta testers -- including Yours Truly. I'm going to randomly pick one contributor this week to invite into Gmail. Make a contribution and you might be the first on your block with a shiny new Gmail account. This exciting issue of Mike's List is sponsored by your fellow readers who sent money since the last issue to support ad-free, spam-free content: Judith (20), Richard (10), Connie (10), Barbara (3), Don (20), Kenn (20) -- and also by the Mike's List "Buck a Month Club": Jeff, John, Ray, Joseph, Sherrin, Ian, Ricardo, Terry, Dennis, Amira, Judy, "L", Joel, Charles, Glenn, Paul, Nicholas, Audrey, Doug, James, Gloria, Timothy, Gordon, Brian, William, James, Security, Bram, David, Evren, Ankesh, Roger, Andrew, John, Rodger, David, Tim and my mom. Go here to use your credit card via PayPal to sponsor Mike's List with a quick and easy contribution and you will be automatically entered into the Gmail contest.


Found Video

Charmed Labs sells kits for transforming an old Game Boy and a pile of Legos into an advanced robot platform. Here come the awesome videos.

William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy were interviewed just before Star Trek premiered in 1966. In the interviews, they explained what was then the strange and exotic concept of the show to a TV reporter. Here comes the video.


Proof You Can Buy Anything on the Web

Just fire up your browser and all this can be yours:

Autographed copies of Bill Clinton's memoirs

An unreleased prototype of the Motorola MPX smart phone

An old landline handset with built-in Bluetooth

All kinds of stuff that's free (after rebate)


Newt Gingrich Among Top 500 Amazon.com Book Reviewers

Former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, Newt Gingrich, has been ranked the 488th top book reviewer on Amazon.com. He did that by writing 137 book reviews that were rated as "helpful" by 2,002 people. I guess he has a lot of time on his hands now that he no longer has a vast, right-wing conspiracy to run.


Cell Phone Follies

The new Nokia 3220 lets you type out a message on the phone, then display that message in lights as you wave the phone around. Sensors in the phone cause lights on the back to blink just right to create the illusion that your message hovers briefly in the air.

The Enrico Tosi Technical Institute school in Italy is using military cell phone jammers to prevent students from using their mobile phones to cheat on exams, according to Reuters.

An enthusiast web site called All About Engage tells how to modify the case of a Nokia N-Gage game phone so you don't have to "engage" in "side talkin" -- holding the phone sidewise to put your head up to the speakers.

South African Andre Steyn was shot during a carjacking, but his life was spared because the Nokia 6610i mobile phone he was talking on at the time deflected the bullet aimed at his head (after passing through his hand).


Dispatches From the Ministry of Truth

The Chinese government has banned a Swedish-made PC game because its story line is incompatible with official propaganda about Tibet, Manchuria and the Xinjiang. Called Hearts of Iron, the game is the latest in a string of foreign games banned because they contain historical facts, rather than the Maoist-era hooey the communist government still expects Chinese citizens to believe.

The North Korean government has recalled all mobile phones from the country -- just a year and a half after allowing them for the first time in the communist nation. They discovered that people were using them to actually talk to each other, something Orwellian dictatorships tend to discourage. As of May 25, all cell phones in the country were banned, except as an emergency food source. Meanwhile, capitalist South Korea passed the 36-million cell phone users milestone last month.

The Syrian government has given a man named Abdel Rahman al-Shaghouri a prison sentence of two and a half years for e-mailing information from a banned web site run by expatriate Syrians. And it wasn't even spam.


Mike's List on the Radio

Craig Crossman's Computer America features Mike Elgan every Thursday night. The show runs from 7pm to 9pm SVT (Silicon Valley Time). Listen to Computer America on your local Business TalkRadio station or over the Internet every weeknight. Don't miss Computer America!


Gotta-Get-It Gadgets

MTI MicroFuel Cells announced the introduction of the MTI Mobion, PDA fuel-cell technology that gives gadgets 2 to 10 times the battery life of regular PDAs, according to the company. The company says they plan to start selling a fuel cell PDA later this year. The two concept models include a PDA/smart phone.

The FCC has leaked spy photos of the latest Sidekick, which sports a built-in camera.

Sharp unveiled a new DVD recorder that comes with a 400GB hard drive. It goes on sale July 30.

Intel has created the perfect board for surfer geeks -- a surfboard with a built-in Tablet PC. The wireless surfboard was created for showing off at the 2004 Intel GoldCoast Oceanfest in Devon, England, a sports and music festival.

Chemix, a Japanese company that makes fuel-cells, has created a a fuel-cell-powered go-cart for children that it plans to start selling this summer. The go-cart goes about 4 miles per hour.

Matsushita Electric Works unveiled its "Sleep Room" prototype in Tokyo last week. The "room" is packed with sleep-inducing gadgets and contraptions such as "sleep counselor" software that creates an individual "sleep profile," special beds that start out as "Lay-Z-Boy" type chairs but slowly unfold into beds as they lull you to sleep with sound, dimming lights, vibrating massage and relaxing video. Perfect for the office!


Mike's List Merchandise

By popular demand, I now have a Mike's List online store. You can also buy a Mike's List bumper sticker at the Computer America web site!


Wacky Web Sites

If you've got an old car, you're going to need an old manual. The Old Car Manual Project is here to help.

Let's face it. People out there eat some weird stuff. And I'm not just talking about the French and their inexplicable enthusiasm for sautéed garden pests. How about some nice, crunchy Philippine Fried Crickets, Canadian Seal Flipper Pie and -- what the heck -- wash it all down with a frosty mug of Tibetan Rancid Yak Milk! The Weird Foods From Around the World web site takes you into a gastronomic Heart of Darkness.

If you like small versions of large objects -- and who doesn't these days? -- you'll love the World's Largest Collection of World's Smallest Versions of World's Largest Things web site.


Mystery Pic o' the Week

What is it? Go here to send YOUR guess (be sure to say where you live). If you're first with the right answer, I'll print your name in the next issue of Mike's List!

LAST WEEK'S MYSTERY PIC: No, it's not "a box for vaporware," "a holographic projection of Jell-O," or even "a block of plasma energy from the 'Transformers' cartoon," as suggested by some readers. In fact, it's JPL Scientist Peter Tsou holding a cube of Aerogel, a silicon-based solid with a porous, sponge-like structure in which 99.8 percent of the volume is empty space. Aerogel was developed by California's Jet Propulsion Laboratory for the purpose of capturing stardust -- interstellar dust flying at high speed through space -- without damaging it. Mike's List mega-kudos to reader Brent Barrett of St. Helens, Oregon, for being first with the right answer. (Disqualified this week was Mike's List reader and JPL scientist Philip Turner...)


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STEAL THIS NEWSLETTER!: You have permission to post, e-mail, copy, print or reproduce this newsletter as many times as you like, but please do not modify it. Mike's List is written and published from deep inside the black heart of Silicon Valley by Mike Elgan. The Mike's List newsletter is totally independent, and does not accept advertising, sponsorships or depraved junkets to sunny resorts. Mike writes and speaks about technology culture, smart phones, smart people, random gadgets, bad ideas, weird computers, painful implants, malicious robots and the Internet. If you're a member of the media and would like to schedule an interview, please go here