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THE SILLY CON VALLEY REPORT

ISSUE 5 * SEPTEMBER 19, 2000

Hot, Hot, Hot!

THINGS ARE REALLY HEATING UP here in Silicon Valley. And I'm not talking about the expected 107-degree heat that some are predicting will cause power outages that will knock out tech companies and web sites all over the valley. I'm talking about the Mike's List newsletter. Subscriptions are growing fast, and - even better - I'm getting great tips, ideas, rumors and gossip from you folks. So keep 'em coming! (And remember: Forward to a friend!) 

 


Disk Spamming the Human Genome
A report in the Financial Times of London says data from the human genome - the 23 chromosomes and 10,000 or so genes that make up the human body - will be copied to CD-ROM disks and given away with Prospect magazine on newsstands. Hey, if it works for AOL, I guess it'll work for the human genome.

Fink on Bad Teen Drivers
A new web site lets parents who don't trust their kids to slap a 1-866-2-TELLMOM bumper sticker on the car, providing a way for people to report reckless teen behavior. The service sends printed reports to parents about what callers say. Patterned after a program to rat out dangerous truck drivers, which reportedly reduced truck-related accidents and tickets by 20%., "Tell-My-Mom.com" is aimed at reducing teen accidents. 


Department of Irony Department
A web site that tracked the decline and fall of dot-com web sites has - what else? - gone out of business! www.dotcomfailures.com, whose motto was, "Kick 'em while they're down," placed a note on its site last week saying it has closing its doors for good. 


Did Somebody Say "McMonopoly"?
Junk-food giant McDonalds isn't satisfied with growth that includes opening five new restaurants a day, every day. They also want a big piece of the global e-commerce pie. The company plans to establish a business called the FS Network, which will likely become the biggest global electronic marketplace for the entire food service industry. The idea is to create "efficiencies" in the market, which means restaurants worldwide would buy food, equipment and supplies from McDonalds instead of all those pesky independent companies. 


Resource for Befuddled Football Fans
Ever since Monday Night Football hired funnyman Dennis Miller as an announcer, millions of fans across the land have been confused by his obscure references. For example, Miller said during Patriots vs. Jets game last week: "I haven't seen murkier bloodlines than this since the house of Plantagenet." Now, Britanica.com has come to the rescue. The web site features a regular item called "The Annotated Dennis Miller," which explains his off-the-wall erudition and pop-culture references. 


Watch Out For Girl Scout Hackers 
The Girl Scouts have added technology to their curriculum, training girls in skills like web surfing and building web pages (bringing a whole new meaning to the term "Girl Scout cookies"). The new program, called "The Edge," will be rolled out to seven million scouts worldwide. 


Woman Allergic to Computers
The Times of London reported September 7 that a 79-year-old Saltford, Bristol, woman called Joan Stock has been diagnosed with the first-ever case of microchip allergy. According to her doctors, the electromagnetic radiation produced by microprocessors of all kinds interferes with her brain's electrical pulses causing severe headaches. Since microchips are so prevalent in modern life, the allergy is severely limiting. She can't travel in cars, shop in supermarkets or watch TV, according to the article


Taking a Bite Out Identifying the Elderly
A Japanese dentist has won patents in the U.S. and Japan for identification chips embedded in false teeth. The chip chompers enable dentists, doctors, police and coroners to identify people based on the information in their teeth.


Mike's List of Numbers
$45 billion - American Society for Industrial Security estimate of the value of proprietary information stolen from Fortune 1000 companies in 1999. * * * 80% - Percentage of companies researched by a firm called NOP Research that publish out-of-date information. * * * 70% - Percentage of traffic to porn sites in the U.S. that takes place during working hours. 


Ad Creep
Network Commerce will bribe you to accept spam by picking up the tab on your domain name. Registration for your own domain name - say, www.yournamehere.com - generally costs $35 a year. 


Reader Web Site of the Week
Each week I'll highlight one cool web site created by a Mike's List reader. The first is Compaq's "RCFoC Tech Journal" written and spoken by reader Jeffrey R. Harrow. (The initials RCFoC stand for "Rapidly Changing Face of Computing.) The web site features a weekly downloadable radio show and e-mail newsletter that explores bleeding-edge technology research and other far-reaching topics. This is good stuff, folks. Check it out!


Wacky Web Site of the Week
If you've ever thought a line in Credence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising" went "There is a bathroom on the right," or remember a phrase from Led Zepplin's "Stairway to Heaven" that goes, "And there's a wino down the road," then you'll love Kiss This Guy (as in Jimi Hendrix's famous line, "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy." It's a web site that catalogs commonly misunderstood lyrics.   

 

STEAL THIS NEWSLETTER!: You have permission to post, e-mail, copy, print or reproduce this newsletter as many times as you like, but please do not modify it. Mike's List is written and published from deep inside the black heart of Silicon Valley by Mike Elgan. The Mike's List newsletter is totally independent, and does not accept advertising, sponsorships or depraved junkets to sunny resorts. Mike writes and speaks about technology culture, smart phones, smart pagers, smart people, laptops, pocket computers, random gadgets, bad ideas, painful implants, and the Internet.