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IT'S NOT SPAM, REALLY, but it feels like spam. I'm talking about those annoying chain letters people pass around by e-mail. 

I get dozens of these vapid, annoying and weirdly out-of-touch e-mails every week. They range from outright hoaxes, to sappy sentiments, from political or consumer-action diatribes to urban legends. 

I think I know why people send them, too: writer's block. People send generic e-mail messages because they want to converse, but don't know what to say. So they send e-mail written by someone else. 

Chain letters have been around longer than the Internet. But e-mail-based chain letters spread faster and wider than paper ones. And the same messages keep coming around year after year, with minor modifications. 

If we all pull together, we can end the chain-letter e-mail virus. If an e-mail message written by someone you don't know says, "Forward to as many people as possible," don't.  If you're tempted, do a little research first, and if someone sends you a chain letter, please reply with a request that they not do so in the future. 

And most importantly: Forward this opinion piece to as many people as possible. It will bring you good luck, wealth and a new car!  TRY IT!! YOU WON'T BE SORRY!!!!   ; ) 

You're Getting Sleepy... Sleeeeeepy...
An Australian show-biz hypnotist plans to launch an online self-hypnotism web site Thursday, according to the Sydney Morning Herald. Hypnotist Martin St James plans to charge about $25 per month. The site will be aimed at people who want to lose weight, quit smoking and relieve stress. (But I can think of better goals. How about curing Internet addiction to overpriced and potentially dangerous Web services like self-hypnotism?) Inevitably, some folks are going to be "put under," then their computers will crash before they can be snapped out of it. If you learn the site's URL, send it to me and I'll publish it. 

Ginger It's Not...
Scientists at Carnegie Mellon University are working on a next-generation pogo stick, which they're calling the "BowGo." They've discovered that by applying technology designed to propel robots, they can make pogo sticks that bounce more than four feet high. The inventors are currently seeking a company to make and sell the BowGo. 

Storage Idea That Just Might Stick
A German researcher has figured out how to transform a roll of clear sticky tape into a data storage medium with a larger capacity than 15 CD-ROMs. The researcher, Steffen Noethe, used a laser beam to change branding holograms on the tape to store information. The data is read while the tape is still rolled up. A company called Tesa plans to market storage products based on the technology, which can be erased by simply peeling off a few feet of tape. (Personally, I'd like to see a duct tape version.)

'And Bring Your Wives...'
Utah Governor Michael O. Leavitt has launched an e-mail campaign to 1,000 Silicon Valley CEOs to convince them to move to Salt Lake City. He is hoping to transform the city -- which already boasts about 2,500 technology companies -- into the next Silicon Valley. It's all part of a $750,000 branding campaign that includes advertising, PR, and other promotional materials -- not to mention a cheesy web site. In addition to luring companies, the campaign aims to dispel misconceptions about Utah, such as the myth that Utah is populated by Olympic-official bribing gangs of neo-nazi bigamists.  

Frgv Me Fthr 4 I Hv Sind...
A senior Vatican official announced Tuesday that the Catholic Church will not sanction confession over the Web. The official told the Italian Catholic news service SIR earlier this week that confessions must happen "in the sacramental context of a personal encounter" -- which I guess is not to be confused with the sacramental context of a personal computer. Vatican watchers are still awaiting word on the acceptability of eCommunion, Mobile Mass and P2P Prayer. 

Robot Sheepdog Ba-a-a-a-a-d Idea
In what has got to be the worst application of robotic technology ever, the Oxford University Computing Laboratory is working on a robot than can herd sheep. Unfortunately, they've discovered that sheep are hard to control, so they're using ducks for trials. Question: Why not just buy a real dog? Is there a looming shortage? 

Proof You Can Buy Anything On the Internet
Hillary Clinton's Master's thesis, of all things, is for sale on eBay. (Folks, I'm not making this up.) 

Not lucky enough to live near the airport? Then whip out your credit card and buy airplane noise audio CDs. It's the perfect gift for frequent travelers who have trouble sleeping when back in the suburbs. 

And how about a liquid-cooled PC case and components? 

Follow-Up
Here are pictures of that toaster I told you about two months ago. The toaster downloads weather information from the Internet and browns the forecast on your toast. 

I told you September 5 about a web site offering live cameras inside the Maricopa County Jail in Arizona. Now Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who started the project, is being sued by a group called Middle Ground Prison Reform. The group says the cams violate prisoners' privacy. They're seeking $25,000 for each of the 55,000 prisoners who might have been seen on the cams. Sheriff Joe says the purpose of the cams is to deter crime, not promote voyeurism. If that's the case, why is he requiring registration and gathering personal information, such as personal interests -- and even offering commercial services?

I wrote a diatribe March 28 about cell phone jammers. Many of you asked where to buy one. Last week, I came across a company that sells jammers in the U.S. If you purchase a jammer, drop me a line and let me know how it works!

I told you about road studs with video cameras being tested in Spain in the May 11 issue. Reader Paul Schuerenberg in San Diego, Calif., sent me a link to this Beyond 2000 article on similar technology in the U.K., which they call the "Intelligent Road Stud." (No, that's not a guy who never needs driving directions...) Thanks, Paul! 

Have you seen additional coverage of a Mike's List item? Let me know! 

Reader Web Site o' the Week
If you're into mobile computing, then do what I do: Subscribe to the free, twice-monthly Mobile Letter newsletter. It's written and published by the mobile and wireless computing experts over at Mobile Insights, including my good friends Gerry Purdy and Terry Nozick. Although it's written for industry insiders, each issue is packed with useful analysis and inside information of interest to every gadget-happy mobile professional. Click here to subscribe!

Get YOUR web site on the high-traffic Mike's List Reader Links page. HERE'S HOW! 

Gotta-Get-It Gadgets
Mad Catz is working on a joystick that zaps you with electricity when you get shot during game play. You'll simply tape electrodes to your forearms, then play your favorite violent game. If you turn the dial all the way up to  maximum, your forearm muscles will actually twitch uncontrollably when you get zapped a few times. Now *that's* entertainment. 

Here's a keyboard for people often kept in the dark -- the keys light up! Twenty-First Century Technologies' Nite-Surfer isn't yet available. The company is currently looking for computer companies and distributors. Stay tuned. I'll let you know when and where you can buy one. 

The iCOM Wireless Personal Internet Browser from Interactive Imaging Systems is a strange device based on a cool idea. It's a portable gadget, sort of like a Palm organizer, but with a difference. Instead of a small screen, the gadget has an eyepiece. When you look into it, you see the equivalent of a 21-inch monitor, according to the company. It has a built-in Web browser, and can connect to the Internet via wireless modem, LAN, Bluetooth or cell phone. Like all the products in this week's edition of "Gotta-Get-It-Gadgets," it doesn't exist. If the company is to be believed, you should be able to buy one within a year. 

Here's another gadget based on wishful thinking. Called Pogo, this 8.5-ounce pocket computer features GSM & GPRS networks with HTML and Flash content. Many of its applications, such as full PIM functionality, built-in cell phone, etc., depend on live Web connections. The company, Pogo Technology, says Pogo will be available "mid-year." Uh, it's June already. Isn't that mid-year? 

Have you seen an amazing new toy? Let me know! 

Wacky Web Sites
Thanks to the Lawrence Berkeley National Labs, now you can track California's use of electricity in real time, plotted against current capacity. Wheeee!

Almost as fun as watching the grass grow... A web cam at the University of Wisconsin at Madison lets you view the live rare blooming of the Titan Arum flower (Titan Arum is latin for "Big Stink"). One of the world's largest flowers, the Titan Arum smells like a dead pig.

Just when you thought Web surfing was safe... This web site chronicles shark attacks worldwide. 

It's your one-stop shopping headquarters for all your android needs. C'mon down to ANDROID WORLD!

Here's a web site that's both wacky AND cool. It's called AgentLand -- a web site full of virtual agents, software robots and virtual-life characters. The home page even has an A.I. character named Cybelle, with whom you can carry on a live conversation.  

You might get the impression that Silicon Valley Dot-Coms have all failed. Not so. There's at least one company doing brisk business: It's called LeavingCal.com. The site helps disillusioned dot-commies escape the maddening traffic, bloated prices and rolling blackouts of Silicon Valley -- and perhaps relocate to Salt Lake City.

What do you call a Web site for men who look like Kenny Rogers? What else? http://www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com

What's crueler than lethal injection, the electric chair and the gas chamber? It's Death By Jargon, a site that exists to embarrass people who use annoying business jargon, such as "think out of the box," and "it's a no-brainer," etc. Visit <site has been removed - no longer in operation> -- and humiliate a colleague today!

Jim Garvin, Chief Scientist for NASA's Mars Exploration Program, has created a hiking trail for climbing that giant face on Mars. He even tosses in a couple of helpful hints: "Bring plenty of water and oxygen." 

It's the hair craze that's sweeping the nation! (Well, it swept the nation twenty years ago...) It's Mullet Madness!!!

Not a wacky web site per se -- let's just call this one the wacky Microsoft Knowledge Base Article of the Year!

 If you see a really crazy web site: Let me know! 

Last Week's Mystery Pic
In the last issue, I showed you part of a spy photograph depicting the next Palm organizer: The Palm m700. Congratulations to reader Rodolfo A. Perez for being first with the right answer. Here are links to more pictures, and a discussion board at PalmStation.com. 

 Have you seen an amazing, hard-to-identify picture? Let me know!

Mystery Pic o' the Week

What is it? Send YOUR guess to mysterypic@mikeslist.com. I'll publish the name of the first person who gets it in the next issue of Mike's List.