'Texting' Sweeps Nation

Not this nation, of course. I'm talking about the Philippines -- the texting capitol of the world. Texting, or the use of a cell phone's numeric keypad to send SMS-based "e-mail," is huge in the Philippines, not to mention the key organizing tool used by clean-government activists to bring down the Estrada government. 

Texting is also big throughout Asia and Europe. More than 15 billion messages are sent per month worldwide, and the numbers are growing. 

So many people in Thailand texted love notes on Valentines day, for example, that Thailand's big phone network computers crashed under the strain. 

This last week, texting made more headlines than any previous week. Unfortunately, we learned that texting can wreck your sex life and cause fatal car accidents. On the other hand, it can also help you quit smoking, pick your favorite music videos and even save your life!

Meanwhile, here in the land of the free (the free local calls, that is), texting barely registers as a communication medium. Why? Because we're increasingly obsessed by PC-based instant messaging. 

Stalin: The Theme Park
"The Most Miserable Place On Earth!" An entrepreneur named Viliumas Malinauskas has opened a theme park in Gruta, Lithuania, based on Stalinist oppression called "Stalinworld." The park features the screams of women and children broadcast over loudspeakers, armed-guard mannequins watching every move you make and a cafe that serves labor-camp gruel. Park employees even wear Soviet Red-Army uniforms. Eventually Stalinworld plans to feature live reenactments of the abuse and torture of yesteryear. Rides? You bet! Visitors will be able to board cattle cars and pretend to get shipped off to slaughter, just as 30,000 Lithuanians did under Stalinist rule. Critics call Stalinworld disrespectful to history, but Malinauskas claims it's an appropriate reminder of a man who killed more people than Hitler. 

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Clinton Forced to Use Palm Organizer
According to New York Post Columnist Neil Travis, Bill Clinton is having a tough time adjusting to civilian life. Without all those aids to keep him organized, he's been forced to manage his own "affairs" using a Palm organizer. Must be tough keeping track of all those criminals he's pardoned, along with associated campaign contributions.

Ad Wars
Things are getting nasty in the world of online advertising. A new web advertising technology called Fotino, developed by Meltingpoint, enables ISPs to place their own advertising over the banner ads of the web sites their customers view. Ads that actually reside on sites are invisible, while the ISP ads take their places. Lawsuits are inevitable. Meanwhile, a developer has created software that kills ads from AOL Instant Messenger. 

Proof You Can Buy Anything On the Internet
Why wait? Order your coffin now, and enjoy it while you can. Here's a company that demonstrates a hundred and one things you can do with your coffin while you're still breathing. 

At last! The solution to a problem that plagues offices around the world. It's "the perfect gift for the person who has everything ... including GAS"

Mike's List o' Crazy Gadgets
Here's a portable CD player that doubles as a PC CD-RW drive!

If you're a billionaire, how about buying your own personal luxury submarine! I like the $78 million, 213-feet Phoenix 1000 and have requested an evaluation unit to be sent for testing in the underwater Mike's List Lab -- I'll keep you posted on whether or not they send one (don't hold your breath).

Mike's List o' Wacky Web Sites
Here's a perfectly useless page that lets you make some poor guy dance. And another. 

It's a wacky games site with wacky games. (Did I mention that this is wacky?)

What could be worse that a Stalin theme park? How about a Buddy Ebsen web site? Uncle Jed Country, which exists to sell self-portraits painted by Beverly Hillbilly Buddy Ebsen. The site features video tours of the paintings, narrated by our folksy, gravelly-voice hero. 

Are you both boring and male? If so, you qualify for the Dull Men's Club!

Here's a gallery of intersection traffic collisions and other photos snapped by police cameras!

If you enjoy good, clean entertainment, you'll love the Moist Towelette Gallery. 

Track computer viruses as they spread across the globe.  

Mike's List o' Numbers
$300 million - The amount of money in U.S. dollars that Intel plans to spend advertising the Pentium 4 chip between now and May. (Intel)

1 billion - The number of Internet users by 2005. (Etforecasts) 

Mike's List o' Required Reading

An Open Letter to the Software Industry 
By Mike Elgan
Winmag.com

Hollywood Hooker Pickup
By King Kaufman
Salon

What's Wrong with Microsoft? 
By Damien Cave
Salon

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Send rumors, gossip and inside information to: mike@mikeslist.com